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Thursday, August 07, 2014 8/07/2014 11:39:00 PM

it's so weird. I feel like I'm constantly pulled back to the past. To acknowledge everything that I have now is plainly due to the ugliness that I have in me. I'm not a good person. I don't deserve what I have now. Insecurities a plenty and as much as I do not want to agree, it's just cause I don't trust myself. it's not about others, it's about myself.

haha okay communication is key. i'm gonna stop here and have some virtual conversations with humans.

bring on the rain; bring on the thunder

Sunday, August 03, 2014 8/03/2014 01:38:00 AM
august

just some things I prefer to post at a more obscure place. and if you manage to read this, good for you.
it's august and idk. going on sep is supposed to be something worth looking forward to, not saying i'm not looking forward to it but... it's so hard to think about this whole thing - how i'm counting down to leaving you than counting down to breathing some canadian air. and then suddenly after the supposedly "drunk" cute call today, i realise i have been too happy these days, just like what my mum said of me. too happy enjoying time together and too happy snapping photos together and too happy eating and walking and eating and walking. too happy seeing you. too happy for my own good. it's like i just fell into this whirlpool with you and there's so much love around, i feel like i would drown but i won't cause you will be there keeping me safe. this honeymoon phase is stimulating my amygdala too much. way too much. and then deng deng, what's gonna happen when aug 27 comes and I have to leave.

haha shit thinking about it makes me want to cry and partially the pms is here too. people say in chinese 鼻酸 before you start tearing but for the first time, i felt my eyes 酸 before the tears came. haha too much info and besides the point... so I guess I just have to trust, right. trust that everything will be fine. arghhh thinking too much sucks. time to sleep.

bring on the rain; bring on the thunder

Monday, July 07, 2014 7/07/2014 08:11:00 AM

It's damn scary. You are scary. I'm scared.
This cloud is freaking scary ahhhh. We are over and you are acting so bipolar, it's fking crazy.
What do you mean.. for you to get through today, I gotta reply you? WTF don't exploit my niceness can. and wtf don't heehee me. ahhhhh omg it's like the last moment you are cursing me and now you are... i don't even know. Not. Gonna. Reply. 

Stop spamming me please :( 

bring on the rain; bring on the thunder

Thursday, March 28, 2013 3/28/2013 01:34:00 AM

and what's happening now??
filled with bad thoughts... yeah bad thoughts to the brim and everything that's going on in the mind

maybe, I am just bad in the first place.

bring on the rain; bring on the thunder

Friday, March 15, 2013 3/15/2013 07:15:00 PM

FUCK YOUUUU LA KNN dafuq

bring on the rain; bring on the thunder

Wednesday, February 27, 2013 2/27/2013 10:38:00 PM

trust issues again.
always like that. now, it's getting more and more obvious, isn't it?
it's like a timebomb (that has just blasted a while ago).

sensitivity kills ALL securities completely.
honestly, why do you even want to keep probing? give some trust?? don't be so sensitive??? is it that hard???? not that i am biased but really...


bring on the rain; bring on the thunder

Sunday, February 24, 2013 2/24/2013 11:12:00 PM

after two days of (slack) happiness, it's back to work!
seriously, recess week is so much more like pls-get-your-asses-back-up-and-mug week.
do projects even worse, i think i self-stress only since my grpmates are like o_o fast.
幸福总是短暂的。and by that i mean, playing with my phone games for the past 2 days lol

bring on the rain; bring on the thunder